Saturday, November 3, 2007

Food for thought...

Ever wonder about those people who spend $4.00 apiece on those little bottles of Evian water? Try spelling Evian backwards: NAIVE

Isn't making a smoking section in a restaurant like making a peeing section in a swimming pool?

If a pig loses its voice, is it disgruntled?

Why do croutons come in airtight packages? Aren't they just stale bread to begin with?

If lawyers are disbarred and clergymen defrocked, doesn't it follow that electricians can be delighted, musicians denoted, cowboys deranged, models deposed, tree surgeons debarked, and dry cleaners depressed?

If Fed Ex and UPS were to merge, would they call it Fed UP?

Do Lipton Tea employees take coffee breaks?

I was thinking about how people seem to read the Bible a whole lot more as they get older; then it dawned on me ....they're cramming for their final exam.

I thought about how mothers feed their babies with tiny little spoons and forks, so I wondered what do Chinese mothers use? toothpicks?

Why do they put pictures of criminals up in the Post Office? What are we supposed to do, write to them? Why don't they just put their pictures on the postage stamps so the mailmen can look for them while they deliver the mail?

If it's true that we are here to help others, then what exactly are the others here for?

You never really learn to swear until you learn to drive.